How You Think I Communicate vs How I Think I Communicate

This week I took three assessments to see how I can communicate and then I had two family members take the same assessment about me. There was a communication anxiety inventory, a verbal aggressiveness scale, and a listening styles profile.  The results from the communication anxiety inventory did not surprise me as I already knew I have really bad anxiety. When my mom filled out the test and had a similar answer to mine, I still was not surprised. Public speaking has always been difficult for me. I prefer one on one and I have to warm up to people. I think it is due to old experiences and the interaction theory process, explains how people change their perception of someone else as they spend more time together (O’Hair, 2018).

The results from the listening styles profile surprised me because I thought I was a better listener. When I took the test, I was action-oriented, and the results said I like clear and straight to the point communication. These results made me seem like I do not care which I felt I am the opposite. When my sister took the test, I was people oriented, and the results said I am empathetic and concerned with the emotions of others. I guess I have two sides of me, but at least other people think I am caring because I think I am for the most part.

My aggressiveness scale was similar when I took the test and my sister did the test. I maintain a good balance between respect and consideration for others. I think about the definition of self-concept, who we think we are, influences our communication.

References

O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2018). Real communication (3rd. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

• "Communication Anxiety Inventory"
• "Verbal Aggressiveness Scale"

Rubin, R. B., Rubin, A. M., Graham, E. E., Perse, E. M., & Seibold, D. R. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures II: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

• "Listening Styles Profile-16"

Three Strategies to Help Me Communicate

Three Strategies to Help Me Communicate

1.       Recognize my own patterns of nonverbal behavior

2.       Talk about subtle behavior differences

3.       Remember the Platinum Rule

These three rules will allow me to be aware of my own body language and attitude/ biases.  It will also allow for those tough conversations that need to be had to understand if you are offending someone or not. If we never discuss it, we may never know but I have to be willing to understand that people cannot assume, and I must say how I feel.  Nonverbal behaviors are a process of communicat9ng without words, which can be intentional or unintentional cues that that give about our emotions (O’Hair, 2018). The platinum rule is to treat others the way they want to be treated and that means to get out of my own feelings or head and consider how someone else is feeling.

O’Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2018). Real communication: An introduction (4th. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

Communication Skills and Styles

Communication is the process by which we use symbols, signs, and behaviors to exchange information (O’Hair, 2018).

This week I watched an episode of Property Brothers on HGTV and I watched first with the sound off and then with the sound.

There was a family who went searching for a house with the realtor but watching with the sound off made it hard to understand what the need of the family was. While I watched the episode, the family found a house and then began to tear it down. The lady who I assumed to be the mother started to cry. As I watched I wonder what made her cry. As I wanted to understand her emotions, I continued to watch the show. While watching the show they found a snake in the home they started to do demolition to. The woman then ran out of the room. As the show continued the contractor called the family back and then showed them the work that was done to the house. The woman began to cry again but this time I assumed they were tears of happiness.

As I watched the show again with the sound on, I realized the family was looking for a new home closer to the city. The house that they did demolition to was her grandparents’ house. This house had so many memories that she was emotional to all the changes but excited for new beginnings. As they tore down walls, they found ants, and a snake. The lady immediately ran out of the room after seeing the snake. I was also able to understand the husbands concern with the cost increasing and the contractor was able to but him at ease by finding more cost-efficient solutions. Once they family was able to come into their newly renovated home, they were so excited. The mom cried again but this time they were tears of joy for new beginnings in the family home.

Through this experience I tried really hard to understand body language and facial expressions, but I realized this task was harder than I thought it would be. I also realize I could have paid more attention to the little details to understand what the family was looking for in their new home. Being attentive is especially important in communicating and listening.

References

O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2018). Real communication: An introduction (4th. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Someone Who Demonstrates Competent Communication

No communication

takes place until

the other person feels heard

Garrison Wynn

Competent communication is effective and appropriate for a given situation, in which the communicators evaluate and reassess their own communication process (O’Hair, 2018). Mrs. Charisse is a coworker/friend who is an amazing communicator. Mrs. Charisse has behavior flexibility; she is able to figure out how to respond in an appropriate behavior depending on the situation.  Some behaviors that Mrs. Charisse portrays when communicating are being a good listener, understanding, flexible, easy to get along with, and she will not argue with you just to prove she is right. When I think of Mrs. Charisse I think of her warm and caring spirit. I believe she has a gift of helping and connecting with others and that is why she is able to effectively communicate. She truly care and wants to see people succeed.  

I am so happy to have her in my life as she is able to help me with my own communications skills. When I become overwhelmed or when I feel I am not being heard sometimes I will shut down and stop communicating. Mrs. Charisse will always remind me that I cannot get my point across if I just stop talking. She says if I need to take a break then that is fine, but she reminds me I have a lot to say and it needs to be heard.  The more conversations we have help my communication skills. I am naturally a good listener because I never want people to feel they are not being heard. I also generally know how people are feeling. Some behaviors that I would like to take away from Mrs. Charisse are knowing what to say in the right moment. I am excited to learn more about ways to communicate.

References

O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2018). Real communication: An introduction (4th. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

My hope is that one day we truly reach a goal of equity, especially in education. Knowledge is the one thing that can never be taking a way from you. We really must take the time to understand ourselves and our own cultures to be able to understand the beliefs of others. They key to this step is understanding, trust, and forgiveness, we have all been deeply hurt by the isms we face in society. Julie Benavides stated that “How can I change someone else before I change myself?” (Laureate Education, 2011).

“I have a dream that one day little black boys and girls will be holding hands with little white boys and girls.”

Martin Luther King Jr., I Have a Dream 

A goal I hope to set in the early childhood field is to build healthy communities through building trust. We have to learn to trust one another in order to see change. Children who have been harmed in the context of a relationship can only be healed in a relationship, but we cannot have relationships without trust. These children then grow to become adults who do not trust which can create a repeating cycle of trust issues, miscommunication, and a lack of forgiveness. The African proverb “it takes a child to raise a village can be better” if it says that it takes a healthy village to raise a healthy child. Nadiyah Taylor says “having compassion for myself and understanding that this work is a lifelong journey” (Laureate Education, 2011).

“Education is for improving the lives of others and for leaving your community and world better than you found it”.

Marian Wright Edelman 

Lastly, I want to thank my colleagues during this course for all of your quality feedback. The thought-provoking discussions has given me perspective in how I view diversity and biases. Louise Derman-Sparks has a vision that it is possible where all people can have access to a quality of life (Laureate Education, 2011).

“An anti-racist person is on a life-long journey that includes forming new understanding of and ways to live her or his racial identity and then increasing commitment to and engagement in anti-racism actions”
 Louise Derman-Sparks

References

Laureate Education (Producer). (2011). Diversity and equity work: Lessons learned [Video file]. 

Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu

Great Resources to Check Out:

2020 Leadership & Learning Webinar Series- https://www.cdacouncil.org/pds-quarterly-newsletter/1849-2020-leadership-a-learning-webinar-series

Building Adult Capabilities to Improve Child Outcomes: A Theory of Change- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urU-a_FsS5Y&t=18s

Welcoming Families From Around the World

The Baptiste family is a family from Haiti and speak French but also English. Their three-year-old daughter will be joining the three-year-old class at Early Learning Center. I want the Baptiste family to feel welcomed and supported while being a part of Early Learning Center. At my center we primarily speak English and must figure out a way to make sure we are culturally responsive to our new family.

Five ways to prepare myself to be culturally responsive towards the Baptiste family is to hold a family conference, find a way to be able to support the child’s home language, individualize my programs curriculum, display of multicultural books and toys around the classroom, and to think about my own biases to ensure I am creating a fair environment.

I would first start with having a family conference to get to know the family. This will help me to know and understand who is a part of the family such as siblings, parents, and anyone else who may be in the home. A family conference will also allow for the family to also get to know me and see the classroom environment. I think this will help create a partnership between the family and myself. This may help the child feel comfortable when the parents are comfortable. Listening for understanding instead of just to answer will make a difference in the partnership.

I would not want the Baptiste family to not communicate with us due to language. I would ask for the family to teach me key words as well as creating a picture card library. Since early childhood programs serve as a two-way bridge between the dominant culture and the child’s home culture (Derman-Sparks, 2010), I want to make sure I am doing all that I can to make that connection.

For young children individualizing and adapting your curriculum according to each child’s home culture is as essential to healthy development as substituting cream cheese for peanut butter is for a child who is allergic to peanuts (Derman-Sparks, 2010). I want to be able meet every child’s needs and if the Baptiste has multiple children attending the center, I will allow time for siblings to see each other to help them feel comfortable and adjust to the new environment.

To feel welcome in a new environment I believe it is helpful to have something familiar. I would inform the Baptiste family that they could donate an item to the classroom to help us understand their culture we would be happy to have it. I also would encourage the family to bring in a family picture and something that could stay in the cubby for the moments to help feel secure. I would have a variety of dolls, puzzles, books, and other materials to represent not only their culture but a numerous amount of cultures to show how people are different. The introduction of learning other cultures will help bring about new discussions and curiosity.

I believe that being open to learning and understanding other people will help me to think about my own culture. This will also help me to check my own biases and see how they can affect my teachings and perception of others.

References

Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).

Laureate Education (Producer). (2011). Family cultures: Dynamic interactions [Video file]. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

     With all the racial injustice going on right now there are several memories that are being created pertaining to prejudice and oppression. A personal experience for me experiencing biases is being a female security officer. I had a man yell at me about me doing my job, but I followed protocol and did not engage further with the man. After yelling at me he proceeded to approach me as if he were going to hit me but when my male colleague walked over to my side the man quickly walked away. 

     Another experienced was being the youngest director for a summer camp and having a parent yell at me saying I was young and did not know what I was doing. He then said his child was being discriminated against because he could not go on a field trip unless a parent went with him. This parent was informed several times of the guidelines for our camp and at this point the child had kicked counselors and thrown furniture. My age had nothing to do with the rules set in place and we also said that his child needed a parent to attend the field trip with him and he could go. The issue was the inconvenience for the parents to take off from work.

     With both experiences I felt singled out because of my gender and age. I was grateful for witnesses who could vouch for me in saying I kept my composure and followed the procedures because I am not sure what would have happened. In both experiences the customers were irate and I had to defend myself in a professional manner. This brought about feelings of anger but also gratitude. I often thought if I had been older or even a man would things have gone differently. I was grateful because I did not feel alone despite what had happened.

     I believe in order for the situations to have changed the men would have had to change their point of view. Trying to receive equity is not always easy. Equity is fair treatment, considering the capacities of individuals, while not discriminating because of their identity (Derman-Sparks, 2010). I also view this situations as what happens when people act off of their emotions. The parent later came back and apologize, and we were able to have a conversation about the trip and he also later shared that his child had special needs. I think maybe he was worried about his child being labeled and chose not to share this information. When he did share, we were able to offer extra assistance for his child through inclusion services. We were able to get an extra counselor so when the child needed one on one time away from the large group, he was able to have that quiet time. We must take time for understanding and actually discussing these issues.

References

Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).