How You Think I Communicate vs How I Think I Communicate

This week I took three assessments to see how I can communicate and then I had two family members take the same assessment about me. There was a communication anxiety inventory, a verbal aggressiveness scale, and a listening styles profile.  The results from the communication anxiety inventory did not surprise me as I already knew I have really bad anxiety. When my mom filled out the test and had a similar answer to mine, I still was not surprised. Public speaking has always been difficult for me. I prefer one on one and I have to warm up to people. I think it is due to old experiences and the interaction theory process, explains how people change their perception of someone else as they spend more time together (O’Hair, 2018).

The results from the listening styles profile surprised me because I thought I was a better listener. When I took the test, I was action-oriented, and the results said I like clear and straight to the point communication. These results made me seem like I do not care which I felt I am the opposite. When my sister took the test, I was people oriented, and the results said I am empathetic and concerned with the emotions of others. I guess I have two sides of me, but at least other people think I am caring because I think I am for the most part.

My aggressiveness scale was similar when I took the test and my sister did the test. I maintain a good balance between respect and consideration for others. I think about the definition of self-concept, who we think we are, influences our communication.

References

O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2018). Real communication (3rd. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

• "Communication Anxiety Inventory"
• "Verbal Aggressiveness Scale"

Rubin, R. B., Rubin, A. M., Graham, E. E., Perse, E. M., & Seibold, D. R. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures II: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

• "Listening Styles Profile-16"

Three Strategies to Help Me Communicate

Three Strategies to Help Me Communicate

1.       Recognize my own patterns of nonverbal behavior

2.       Talk about subtle behavior differences

3.       Remember the Platinum Rule

These three rules will allow me to be aware of my own body language and attitude/ biases.  It will also allow for those tough conversations that need to be had to understand if you are offending someone or not. If we never discuss it, we may never know but I have to be willing to understand that people cannot assume, and I must say how I feel.  Nonverbal behaviors are a process of communicat9ng without words, which can be intentional or unintentional cues that that give about our emotions (O’Hair, 2018). The platinum rule is to treat others the way they want to be treated and that means to get out of my own feelings or head and consider how someone else is feeling.

O’Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2018). Real communication: An introduction (4th. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

Communication Skills and Styles

Communication is the process by which we use symbols, signs, and behaviors to exchange information (O’Hair, 2018).

This week I watched an episode of Property Brothers on HGTV and I watched first with the sound off and then with the sound.

There was a family who went searching for a house with the realtor but watching with the sound off made it hard to understand what the need of the family was. While I watched the episode, the family found a house and then began to tear it down. The lady who I assumed to be the mother started to cry. As I watched I wonder what made her cry. As I wanted to understand her emotions, I continued to watch the show. While watching the show they found a snake in the home they started to do demolition to. The woman then ran out of the room. As the show continued the contractor called the family back and then showed them the work that was done to the house. The woman began to cry again but this time I assumed they were tears of happiness.

As I watched the show again with the sound on, I realized the family was looking for a new home closer to the city. The house that they did demolition to was her grandparents’ house. This house had so many memories that she was emotional to all the changes but excited for new beginnings. As they tore down walls, they found ants, and a snake. The lady immediately ran out of the room after seeing the snake. I was also able to understand the husbands concern with the cost increasing and the contractor was able to but him at ease by finding more cost-efficient solutions. Once they family was able to come into their newly renovated home, they were so excited. The mom cried again but this time they were tears of joy for new beginnings in the family home.

Through this experience I tried really hard to understand body language and facial expressions, but I realized this task was harder than I thought it would be. I also realize I could have paid more attention to the little details to understand what the family was looking for in their new home. Being attentive is especially important in communicating and listening.

References

O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2018). Real communication: An introduction (4th. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Someone Who Demonstrates Competent Communication

No communication

takes place until

the other person feels heard

Garrison Wynn

Competent communication is effective and appropriate for a given situation, in which the communicators evaluate and reassess their own communication process (O’Hair, 2018). Mrs. Charisse is a coworker/friend who is an amazing communicator. Mrs. Charisse has behavior flexibility; she is able to figure out how to respond in an appropriate behavior depending on the situation.  Some behaviors that Mrs. Charisse portrays when communicating are being a good listener, understanding, flexible, easy to get along with, and she will not argue with you just to prove she is right. When I think of Mrs. Charisse I think of her warm and caring spirit. I believe she has a gift of helping and connecting with others and that is why she is able to effectively communicate. She truly care and wants to see people succeed.  

I am so happy to have her in my life as she is able to help me with my own communications skills. When I become overwhelmed or when I feel I am not being heard sometimes I will shut down and stop communicating. Mrs. Charisse will always remind me that I cannot get my point across if I just stop talking. She says if I need to take a break then that is fine, but she reminds me I have a lot to say and it needs to be heard.  The more conversations we have help my communication skills. I am naturally a good listener because I never want people to feel they are not being heard. I also generally know how people are feeling. Some behaviors that I would like to take away from Mrs. Charisse are knowing what to say in the right moment. I am excited to learn more about ways to communicate.

References

O'Hair, D., Wiemann, M., Mullin, D. I., & Teven, J. (2018). Real communication: An introduction (4th. ed). New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.